It's been a while since I wrote, but mainly because it's been a while since I have ran. I occasionally tried but through student teaching and the long winter months, followed by a bad cough, it's been tough to get out there. I tried once, after I was done with student teaching, but a cough, which I had for about a month came back right after the run. My mom has been telling me not to blame the run on the cough that is still present now since the last time I ran. I have been weary about running since just becuase I would hate for this terrible cough to continue. Yet, today, I began to grow impatient and I figured that a one mile run could barely do any damage and would help me get back into the game. Therefore I went for a one mile run.
It felt suprisingly good. After a weekend of driving all over new england for graduation parties and eating nothing but fast food and barbeque, I expected to feel much worse. But I felt okay, for the first 3/4 of a mile. Even though I assume I was going painfully slow. It was the last 1/4 of a mile that was the most difficult. I began to feel pain and the lack of regular running for the past few years began to show. I simply ran through the pain and finally finished in my front yard.
In regards to my personal life it has been quite the whirlwind over the past few weeks. The best way to sum it up is that I just graduated from college. I had to say goodbye to my best friends and also had to say goodbye to the best group of people I know, BOP. I then had to move out of my house and leave the life of booze and books. It really wasn't easy. Not to mention that I am terrified about the next chapter of my life. Will I amount to anything? It is going to be a decent life? What desicisions can I make in order to have a decent life? There are several questions and concerns and pretty much everything has me in worries. Not to mention, I am saying goodbye to being a student and being coddled by my parents for so long. I guess for now, running will be the only thing that will save me from these thoughts and keep me from going absolutely insane.
Recently, upon moving back home I decided to go through everything in my desk drawers from both college and home to be able to clear out everything. Upon doing this I found a letter from my confirmation sponsor who was also my cross country and track captain. He was the inspiration to keep me going through my most difficult times even after he graduated. Anyway, he wrote me a letter from my confirmation which had to do with setting goals and having a burning passion and it had to do with those two elements and how I handled them out on the track. I began to break down into tears while reading this letter. Not just because I miss a close personal friend of mine but because I miss having a passion for something and I miss having definite goals. I miss wanting to run, experiencing the runner's high and loving the eight mile runs. But I also miss caring for something truly and having a passion. I also miss having goals.
I don't exactly know what lies ahead for me but I need to certianly be sure that I pick up the passion and goals that I used to posses in high school. I suppose that all starts, whith a single mile.
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