Paolo Nutini Would Be Proud. I'm Not.

My parents have been telling me they are paying for quite a few lasts recently. They have paid for my last phone, my last laptop, my last dinner, my last beer, my last shirt, and finally they just paid for my last pair of running shoes. They are Aasics Gel Kayanos and at $140 a pair they are the best damn shoes and will be my shoes for quite some time. I decided to take them for a three mile test run today.

I'm going to wind the clock back to last weekend. Last weekend I went back to Providence to surprise my friends that are currently on the club, BOP. I wen there with other graduates because it's a tradition to do so every summer. It was good to see my fellow graduating friends and to answer any reservations, yes i did get fucking cocked out of my mind. So much so that there are two separate nights of pictures of me passed out on two separate couches. Needless to say, I am much too old to party, even after only two months from graduating. But, as fun as it may have been, this weekend was much more difficult then I expected it to be.

I feel like over the past few months before I graduated, I was lied to. I was told that I would still be a part of the BOP family and that I would never be forgotten about and this calmed me. I came into the basement where they were partying this year and they were all really excited to see me, but I could just tell I didn't belong. I could tell that I was no longer part of the 50 member family that they used to be. I was able to know for a fact that they were moving on and I was no longer a part of it. It's something I should have realized a long while before that, but I guess you never realize something until you truly live in it.

With that in mind, I didn't run this week. I was depressed I felt like shit. I felt pathetic and unwanted, I am pathetic and unwanted. But after the new shoes I decided to give it another go.