Between a math quiz wednesday, a math test thursday, and another math test on friday. I still managed to find time to run on one day last week. I guess I could call last week a hiccup, and for good reason. The work was piling up pretty thoroughly and I just did not have the time or daylight to even think about starting a run. The only time I was able to run was on Thursday morning and I can't even take credit for that one time.
It was on wednesday night when I got a text from one of my good friends up at PC, Tim Fleming. It was simple and concise, "Run tomorrow morning at 7?" It was without hesitation that I said yes. Whether it be the fact that I was already going to be awake for my 8:30 class, or that I needed the solace of a good run after all of these math equations, I found myself lacing up my shoes for early that morning.
The chill of an early morning, struck me as much indoors as it did outdoors. The heat must not have been working, or they don't bother turning it on that early in the morning. A good motivation for students to wake up and go to class. I joined my friend outside of Di Trag and we began to run through the grassy lands now speckled with dry leaves.
He began by pushing a little hard and I decided to match him slightly. We were talking for most of the way. It was a casual conversation run, which was all I really needed. It was after the North Providence Hill where Tim began to grow slower. "Just go on without me, I'll be fine." He obviously wouldn't. He had no idea where the route went. Plus, I was here to just relax...not to go for a difficult run. I didn't even bring my watch. I kept a reasonable pace, a few steps in front of Tim. It was while this was happening when he said, "I don't know how you do it." This comment struck me. I didn't feel anything. I was completely relaxed and at peace. This was the first time in a while that I was with someone that was hurting when I wasn't. With the exception of a better than average time on my watch, this is the best pick up that I have received in quite some time. For days after, Tim would caution friends not to run with me, because I would go to fast and push to hard. This was something that was good to hear. Tim may not have realized it, but telling people not to run with me, was the finest gesture of friendship that I could have ever gotten at this time.
It hasn't all been a pair of new running shoes since the last post. I can attribute my lack of running during the week to the amount of work that I had but this weekend was entirely different beast. The mood I was in this weekend constantly floats in and out of me, like that of a possessed spirit. I get this crippling feeling that at times I don't belong, at all. If I haven't mentioned yet, I am a part of the schools Board of Programmers (BOP), that is a group in charge of putting on events on campus. That helps me feel like I am a part of something, not to mention that the entire group is an extremely strong family that I love more than anything. However, even that sometimes can't shake this feeling that no matter where I put my feet, I don't seem to fit. On friday, I went to what the school called Pumpkin Fest. I went there because BOP was helping out with some of the portions of the event. However, all I received was lackadaisical greetings that transferred into nothing more than me standing alone in the field, while others did so well with each other. Groups of attractive and funny teens on the top of the world just enjoying and loving each others company. Is this the fault of my peers and the others? Absolutely not. I put myself in charge of every social problem that I seem to fall down into. I could be more friendly or I could try to be more outgoing. Perhaps what happened at Pumpkin fest wasn't even a big deal and was just me reading into small actions from people that weren't even that socially taxing. Regardless of how the situation unfolded and how I tried to logically try to analyze it, I still feel the same. I am emotionally unresponsive and I only sink deeper into this symbolic paralysis, giving myself a low amount of interaction and my ability to make the same mistakes with the same girls, just to be able to feel better about myself. There were plenty of times I could have run this weekend, and even more times when I truly needed it. But I just couldn't think of going out there. I just didn't have the positivity that it takes to put those shoes on.
I found myself in higher spirits this morning when I tied the shoes and began to head out the door. I didn't think that I was going to run this morning. I felt I had too many people to call, for BOP, and classes, work and meetings, would dominate most of my time. I was heading out the door at about 11:00 reciting all of the work that I had to do. I stopped myself from walking out the door, saying to myself. "I have plenty of time for a run." I turned around, ran up the stairs, busted through the door and through on my running stuff, ready to try to forget about everything that was going on just once more.
I began to trek down the sidewalk. Leaves were falling amongst me in a slow melodic form. It was a scene that so many films would unsuccessfully duplicate with CGI. It was pure realistic beauty...and it was something that drove me to run even faster. However, as I have learned before, the attitude one possesses isn't everything in a run. My legs were feeling heavy and stitches began to surface. I had to stop at the top of the hill. I had to stop when I reached the woods. I had to the stop after crossing the street. I was greeted by a large amount of stitches. But something came over me, I was hurting physically, but for the entire run I was nowhere near in a bad mood. I was feeling tired but I just couldn't give two shits about everything else that I felt was wrong in my life. I made myself finish up the run. I forgot to turn on my watch after one of the many times I stopped and it didn't matter to me, because I did the run. Something I couldn't say about myself last week, or several other times in the past three years.
It was later that day, when I was in the BOP office where a fellow BOP member, Shioban, got my attention. "Sean. I saw you today running, and I have to say that I have never seen anyone look so happy on run then you were looking. You had the biggest smile on your face." This comment, like Tim's caught me off guard. Mainly, because I didn't even realize that I was smiling. I feel that life is going to offer me several challenges until that one day that my number is up, whether they be stitches or loneliness, I just need to smile and bear it, because eventually things are going to get better.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Mind Under Matter
I didn't run that past two days but I haven't been fretting about this particular issue. I really did have classes or appointments the entire day so I really had no other choice but to skip my runs. These were also unusual appointments that normally don't factor into my typical weekly schedule, therefore I will still be able to go for runs on the upcoming weeks on these particular days.
I have also haven't been displeased with my dedication in the past two days because I've been noticing differences in myself. I have been realizing that I have been feeling the same way that I sometimes did in high school. A freshman, I met when I was an orienation leader this year, was able to confide in me about some of the problems she has been having thus far in school. This wasn't what was different about myself but she did say something that stuck with me. "How come I never see you in a bad mood?" I addressed this question with an inner chuckle because I am often in a bad or depressing mood, sometimes from nothing but the typical grind of the day. Therefore, you can understand my confusion from this question. However, I looked back on the past week since I started all of this and realized that I have not been bummed out or depressed at all. I haven't even had any stress or feelings of insecurity. It could be determined then that the running has has a profound affect on my outlook on life in the past few weeks.
Another change in me is that I have been extremely hungry. I would eat dinner and then hours later be hungry once again only to be hungry again just before I go to bed. I have been wondering why this has been going on and remembered that running boosts your appetite, which happened often in high school.
With these changes, I was confident that I was getting back into the swing of things. So you could imagine my excitement to start running again, after my classes today. It was easy to get started. No excuses arose. No obstacles presented themselves to me. There wasn't a shadow of doubt that could douse my sunny mood and I was ready to tackle 3 miles. Sometimes, however, the mind isn't the only ingredient of a good run.
As I took off down the road, I found it increasingly hard to keep at a decent pace. My legs felt like sand bags. I felt as if it was the first time I was running. My legs couldnt keep up with my motivation and therefore my motivation began to be dragged down into the bowels of running hell. Just after passing Big Tony's, I turned down the street to make the run a two mile run. I did it without even thinking. This only proves that I was feeling worse then having to run through a driving rain storm.
I decided to run in the middle of the empty street, hoping that this type of image would motivate me further. It did not. I passed a man walking on the sidewalk, obviously too fatigued to move on. I normally would think, "What a slacker!" But today I looked at him and thought, "Man, I wish I was doing what he was doing." I would obey this desire at the next turn.
I never like to stop, but between stictches poking at every inch of my torso and being barely able to lift my legs. I stopped at the corner to catch my breath. I was so dissapointed. I looked down the street at the line of golden trees shedding their leaves as they dance toward the ground, where they lay idle. I turned into what slackers envy and what runners call slackers. As I was looking down the street I noticed the walker, once again running and doing so towards me. Out of shame, I continued to run along my route.
The same pace and same attitude was draped across the rest of the run. When I stepped onto campus, I gritted my pants as I looked at my watch. It was at 15 minutes and with this something dawned on me. However, horrible I felt, I could still beat my time from my first run only a week ago. This would be a victory in several ways and I decided not to let up. Regardless of my dragging legs, broken spirit, and ugly stomach stitches, I felt myself flying across campus until I reached the front of my apartment at 16:40. This is a terrible time for 2 miles but it's better than when I felt great on the same run a week ago. I need to keep reminding myself that I won't become an all star over night....but I'm going to need to over a month.
I have also haven't been displeased with my dedication in the past two days because I've been noticing differences in myself. I have been realizing that I have been feeling the same way that I sometimes did in high school. A freshman, I met when I was an orienation leader this year, was able to confide in me about some of the problems she has been having thus far in school. This wasn't what was different about myself but she did say something that stuck with me. "How come I never see you in a bad mood?" I addressed this question with an inner chuckle because I am often in a bad or depressing mood, sometimes from nothing but the typical grind of the day. Therefore, you can understand my confusion from this question. However, I looked back on the past week since I started all of this and realized that I have not been bummed out or depressed at all. I haven't even had any stress or feelings of insecurity. It could be determined then that the running has has a profound affect on my outlook on life in the past few weeks.
Another change in me is that I have been extremely hungry. I would eat dinner and then hours later be hungry once again only to be hungry again just before I go to bed. I have been wondering why this has been going on and remembered that running boosts your appetite, which happened often in high school.
With these changes, I was confident that I was getting back into the swing of things. So you could imagine my excitement to start running again, after my classes today. It was easy to get started. No excuses arose. No obstacles presented themselves to me. There wasn't a shadow of doubt that could douse my sunny mood and I was ready to tackle 3 miles. Sometimes, however, the mind isn't the only ingredient of a good run.
As I took off down the road, I found it increasingly hard to keep at a decent pace. My legs felt like sand bags. I felt as if it was the first time I was running. My legs couldnt keep up with my motivation and therefore my motivation began to be dragged down into the bowels of running hell. Just after passing Big Tony's, I turned down the street to make the run a two mile run. I did it without even thinking. This only proves that I was feeling worse then having to run through a driving rain storm.
I decided to run in the middle of the empty street, hoping that this type of image would motivate me further. It did not. I passed a man walking on the sidewalk, obviously too fatigued to move on. I normally would think, "What a slacker!" But today I looked at him and thought, "Man, I wish I was doing what he was doing." I would obey this desire at the next turn.
I never like to stop, but between stictches poking at every inch of my torso and being barely able to lift my legs. I stopped at the corner to catch my breath. I was so dissapointed. I looked down the street at the line of golden trees shedding their leaves as they dance toward the ground, where they lay idle. I turned into what slackers envy and what runners call slackers. As I was looking down the street I noticed the walker, once again running and doing so towards me. Out of shame, I continued to run along my route.
The same pace and same attitude was draped across the rest of the run. When I stepped onto campus, I gritted my pants as I looked at my watch. It was at 15 minutes and with this something dawned on me. However, horrible I felt, I could still beat my time from my first run only a week ago. This would be a victory in several ways and I decided not to let up. Regardless of my dragging legs, broken spirit, and ugly stomach stitches, I felt myself flying across campus until I reached the front of my apartment at 16:40. This is a terrible time for 2 miles but it's better than when I felt great on the same run a week ago. I need to keep reminding myself that I won't become an all star over night....but I'm going to need to over a month.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Staying Fresh
I was always hoping that eventually it would be more difficult for me to update my blog then for me to actually go for the runs which I blog about. That time has arrived much quicker than I anticipated. I did not expect to be running today. Monday's are not a good day for me. My classes end at 4 and by 6 I need to be at a weekly movie screen for my film analysis class. I was spending the entire day thinking that this would finally be the day that my running schedule would be interrupted by a legitimate excuse. However, it's comforting to know that now even logic is not stopping me from my run. I did decrease the distance of this run to be able to fit in the time. The purpose of this run would be to keep myself fresh. Pretty much a day of running just for the sake of running. But things changed through the run.
Before my run, I experienced another pain that frequents a runner that I have forgotten about. This pain is a more of a physical pain than any other. Pardon me if I get to graphic, but this pain is nipple chaffage. It seems the day before, when running in a wet cotton shirt, I scarred the tip of my nipple severely. I answered this cry of pain by putting on one of sophisticated Dri-Fit running shirts, something I never though I would have to do again. I guess I will be experiencing these little pieces of nostalgia, however painful or glorious, for weeks to come now.
I began running on River Avenue, the same street that I had my rainy revelation on the day before. This time it was much better weather and much better spirits. I began the run at very decent pace. Enough to seem a little bit uncomfortable, which is a very admirable level to run at, especially when that run is only two miles. This was time that a light amount of fear began to strike me. The cough that was present for moments after my run yesterday but then gone for the remainder of the night, resurfaced. I began to regret running in the cold rain the day before but I remembered something that my high school cross country coach said to me, "You can't catch a cold just by being cold. That is only a myth. You catch it from getting a virus." It could be argued that our coach just wanted us to avoid us making excuses. However, Coach Ford was a very practical man. I couldn't see him risking the health of runners just for one practice. Therefore, I stuck by his philosophy, cleared my throat, and kept on moving.
I never saw the cough again on that run. As I took the turn past a Shell gas station, I looked at my watch and saw a very low number. I won't say what it was because it would be irrelevant considering the fact that I had no knowledge of the location of the mile markers, but it was lower than it usually was. Therefore, I powered through the downhill street and took a left at the bars that I frequent on several weekends a year. I didn't look at the watch for the rest of the run, there was no need to, I had no idea how far I was running. I only knew that the end of it was 2 miles so that's what I kept going for.
I took a turn onto Eaton street, which is across from the School and where there is a large amount of off-campus housing. Even though this portion of the run is uphill, I like to go extremely fast just to show off to some friends that might know me. Although it is admirable to be humble, you have to be a little bit arrogant to be successful at running. Sometimes, its the only motivation that one can achieve, when you got nothing else but weak legs and a stomach stitch. You just have to make sure this arrogance is brought on subtly and doesn't make you seem like an asshole.
After Eaton, I continued to power over the crest of the hill. I could see Di Trag in my sight which tempted me to look at my watch, I was filled with joy to find 13 minutes there, but also it drove me to worry as my goal now changed desperately to achieve a 2 mile run within 14 minutes. As I crawled up the stone stairs and arrived on campus, I click my watch to see 13:55. This is not an amazing time for 2 miles, but it's one of the best times I have seen for that distance in a while, and that's a lofty accomplishment in any runner's book.
Before my run, I experienced another pain that frequents a runner that I have forgotten about. This pain is a more of a physical pain than any other. Pardon me if I get to graphic, but this pain is nipple chaffage. It seems the day before, when running in a wet cotton shirt, I scarred the tip of my nipple severely. I answered this cry of pain by putting on one of sophisticated Dri-Fit running shirts, something I never though I would have to do again. I guess I will be experiencing these little pieces of nostalgia, however painful or glorious, for weeks to come now.
I began running on River Avenue, the same street that I had my rainy revelation on the day before. This time it was much better weather and much better spirits. I began the run at very decent pace. Enough to seem a little bit uncomfortable, which is a very admirable level to run at, especially when that run is only two miles. This was time that a light amount of fear began to strike me. The cough that was present for moments after my run yesterday but then gone for the remainder of the night, resurfaced. I began to regret running in the cold rain the day before but I remembered something that my high school cross country coach said to me, "You can't catch a cold just by being cold. That is only a myth. You catch it from getting a virus." It could be argued that our coach just wanted us to avoid us making excuses. However, Coach Ford was a very practical man. I couldn't see him risking the health of runners just for one practice. Therefore, I stuck by his philosophy, cleared my throat, and kept on moving.
I never saw the cough again on that run. As I took the turn past a Shell gas station, I looked at my watch and saw a very low number. I won't say what it was because it would be irrelevant considering the fact that I had no knowledge of the location of the mile markers, but it was lower than it usually was. Therefore, I powered through the downhill street and took a left at the bars that I frequent on several weekends a year. I didn't look at the watch for the rest of the run, there was no need to, I had no idea how far I was running. I only knew that the end of it was 2 miles so that's what I kept going for.
I took a turn onto Eaton street, which is across from the School and where there is a large amount of off-campus housing. Even though this portion of the run is uphill, I like to go extremely fast just to show off to some friends that might know me. Although it is admirable to be humble, you have to be a little bit arrogant to be successful at running. Sometimes, its the only motivation that one can achieve, when you got nothing else but weak legs and a stomach stitch. You just have to make sure this arrogance is brought on subtly and doesn't make you seem like an asshole.
After Eaton, I continued to power over the crest of the hill. I could see Di Trag in my sight which tempted me to look at my watch, I was filled with joy to find 13 minutes there, but also it drove me to worry as my goal now changed desperately to achieve a 2 mile run within 14 minutes. As I crawled up the stone stairs and arrived on campus, I click my watch to see 13:55. This is not an amazing time for 2 miles, but it's one of the best times I have seen for that distance in a while, and that's a lofty accomplishment in any runner's book.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, Wet Sunday
The past two days were a bit of a slip on my part. Friday I didn't run because of the weak excuse of not having my computer and yesterday because of the even weaker excuse of just being too lazy and having a little too much fun the night before. I guess this pattern is expected of someone trying to get back into shape after two years but I'm not taking behavior like this lightly. So therefore, this morning when I awoke to driving rain outside my window, I decided to give myself a punishment, by slapping on my running shoes.
My roommates were stunned to see me in my running gear. "B-but it's raining...", my direct roommate, Alex, said. I just smiled gave them a shrug and said, "You gotta do what ya gotta do." I haven't told them about the blog yet. I haven't really told many people. I don't quite feel comfortable shoving it in people's faces quite yet because there is still room for error, but maybe in a week or two, I'll begin to go public.
I decided to upgrade myself to three mile today because of both punishment and my good time on Thursday. At the bottom floor of Di Trag, before leaving to brave the wet weather, I noticed I didn't have my watch on. I knew that I was going to be forgetting it one of these days. I turned to go back inside but I weighed my option: It was raining and I was running three miles for the first time in quite a while. I decided that a watch was going to be completely pointless on this run. I was going to be very right.
The cold water coming from the sky was matched only by a very cold and strong wind that came in and stung me with every blow. My rationale was that eventually I would warm because I would be on the run. I was not correct in this prediction. The run didn't start out terrible I went by Big Tony's and then by street one would turn on for the two mile route. I refused to even look towards it, at the risk of temptation.
When I hit the only hill on the route, the weather became hell. I did what I could to power through it but I felt almost helpless in the chilling arms of mother nature. I was spouting more expletives than a crime movie set in south Boston. At the top of hill, the route takes me into a park where I take a break from concrete and start running through the trails. Leaves and branches, covered in droplets of water, were overgrown on the trail since the times that I rarely ran this route from freshman year. You could guess then, that I got more wet then if I stayed on the street, but at this point everything was heavy and weighing me down anyway.
Normally the toughest part of the run is the end, this run was no exception. When I emerged from the trails, I took a turn on the street and the wind was even stronger, blowing my cold wet shirt right up against my shivering chest. This run was a rough one, that is until I took a right onto the street that PC is on. This busy suburban street caused me to think for a moment. I wasn't thinking rationally but that this point, through all the pain from the wind, rain, and cold temperature, I began to feel like what I just went through made me so much stronger. I sped down that final street. I trounced across the wet and muddy lawn of the campus, powered onto the parking lot behind the library and flew amongst the apple trees behind the campus chapel. This run wasn't fantastic, and I felt like absolute shit and I rung out my clothes, but it was a necessary step.
While in my room, I began to bellow several deep coughs. I took an air borne, a mucinex, and a few puffs from my inhaler from childhood. Hopefully, this little final paragraph won't be a foreshadowing to any sort of sickness.
My roommates were stunned to see me in my running gear. "B-but it's raining...", my direct roommate, Alex, said. I just smiled gave them a shrug and said, "You gotta do what ya gotta do." I haven't told them about the blog yet. I haven't really told many people. I don't quite feel comfortable shoving it in people's faces quite yet because there is still room for error, but maybe in a week or two, I'll begin to go public.
I decided to upgrade myself to three mile today because of both punishment and my good time on Thursday. At the bottom floor of Di Trag, before leaving to brave the wet weather, I noticed I didn't have my watch on. I knew that I was going to be forgetting it one of these days. I turned to go back inside but I weighed my option: It was raining and I was running three miles for the first time in quite a while. I decided that a watch was going to be completely pointless on this run. I was going to be very right.
The cold water coming from the sky was matched only by a very cold and strong wind that came in and stung me with every blow. My rationale was that eventually I would warm because I would be on the run. I was not correct in this prediction. The run didn't start out terrible I went by Big Tony's and then by street one would turn on for the two mile route. I refused to even look towards it, at the risk of temptation.
When I hit the only hill on the route, the weather became hell. I did what I could to power through it but I felt almost helpless in the chilling arms of mother nature. I was spouting more expletives than a crime movie set in south Boston. At the top of hill, the route takes me into a park where I take a break from concrete and start running through the trails. Leaves and branches, covered in droplets of water, were overgrown on the trail since the times that I rarely ran this route from freshman year. You could guess then, that I got more wet then if I stayed on the street, but at this point everything was heavy and weighing me down anyway.
Normally the toughest part of the run is the end, this run was no exception. When I emerged from the trails, I took a turn on the street and the wind was even stronger, blowing my cold wet shirt right up against my shivering chest. This run was a rough one, that is until I took a right onto the street that PC is on. This busy suburban street caused me to think for a moment. I wasn't thinking rationally but that this point, through all the pain from the wind, rain, and cold temperature, I began to feel like what I just went through made me so much stronger. I sped down that final street. I trounced across the wet and muddy lawn of the campus, powered onto the parking lot behind the library and flew amongst the apple trees behind the campus chapel. This run wasn't fantastic, and I felt like absolute shit and I rung out my clothes, but it was a necessary step.
While in my room, I began to bellow several deep coughs. I took an air borne, a mucinex, and a few puffs from my inhaler from childhood. Hopefully, this little final paragraph won't be a foreshadowing to any sort of sickness.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Already Slipping....
I can't quite call this a failure just yet. I refuse to. If every time I missed a day of running it would be called a failure then I wouldn't be able to live with myself.I suppose I can call this a failure when I stop writing, and who knows when or if that day is going to come.
Fatigue should belong in the same family as death or taxes. It is inevitable. You can try to outrun it but it's eventually going to catch up with you and you will be powerless to stop it.
My Friday afternoons are my moments of complete rest. It was a tradition that I would put on a movie, lie in bed, and never see the end of the movie due to my slipping into a deep slumber. I am going to try to avoid this tradition in the near future for the sake of this project but today I realized my true motivation.
In the morning I always turn on my computer before class so that I could see the temperature and dress accordingly. This morning my computer wouldn't turn on. I stewed in my own frustration for a moment, guessed the temperature from looking outside, and brought my computer to the shop after class. They said to leave it there and they would call me when they were finished with it. I have had my fair share of experiences with computer shops and it normally takes quite a few days for the computer to come back. Therefore, when I came back to my apartment, I was about to go on a run when I realized there was no way I could write about it, so what was the point?
I then fell into bed and caught up on some much needed sleep. The whirring of a vibrating phone awakened me an hour later, "Sean, this is CompUtopia, we have your computer ready." It took only one day. I began to walk over and while I was jubilant to receive my computer again after such a short time, I began to grow worried. The reason I didn't run was because of the blog, therefore the only motivation I have in running right now is this blog. On the other hand, I do need something to help me with starting to train again. Then maybe I won't need the blog anymore and can just run without my computer...but for now I'm still needing this.
Fatigue should belong in the same family as death or taxes. It is inevitable. You can try to outrun it but it's eventually going to catch up with you and you will be powerless to stop it.
My Friday afternoons are my moments of complete rest. It was a tradition that I would put on a movie, lie in bed, and never see the end of the movie due to my slipping into a deep slumber. I am going to try to avoid this tradition in the near future for the sake of this project but today I realized my true motivation.
In the morning I always turn on my computer before class so that I could see the temperature and dress accordingly. This morning my computer wouldn't turn on. I stewed in my own frustration for a moment, guessed the temperature from looking outside, and brought my computer to the shop after class. They said to leave it there and they would call me when they were finished with it. I have had my fair share of experiences with computer shops and it normally takes quite a few days for the computer to come back. Therefore, when I came back to my apartment, I was about to go on a run when I realized there was no way I could write about it, so what was the point?
I then fell into bed and caught up on some much needed sleep. The whirring of a vibrating phone awakened me an hour later, "Sean, this is CompUtopia, we have your computer ready." It took only one day. I began to walk over and while I was jubilant to receive my computer again after such a short time, I began to grow worried. The reason I didn't run was because of the blog, therefore the only motivation I have in running right now is this blog. On the other hand, I do need something to help me with starting to train again. Then maybe I won't need the blog anymore and can just run without my computer...but for now I'm still needing this.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head...
There is nothing like a run in the rain. These were my sentiments exactly when in high school. I would power through the storm like I was the main character during the climax of a dramatic movie. Meanwhile, cars with headlights and wipers at full blast would shake their heads in disbeleif. I would come back to the locker room drenched in cold water. I would look in the mirror and staring back at me would be a red faced, soaking wet high school kid, his hair matted to his forehead and his smile from ear to ear.
However, a rainy day at college would just be another excuse to avoid running, which was almost the case today. Mondays and Thursdays will always be harder days to run because class ends at 4:00 on those days and by then either the day is getting dark or I am getting tired.
It seems discouraging that on the second day of this project I am already having a hard time getting out and running. I should not be too hard on myself. I'm sure that for the next few days or even weeks it is going to very hard to get out there. Also, it was raining today and the average person wouldn't go for a run in that type of weather. But I wasn't the average person in high school and I'm hoping to get back into that frame of mind by the Turkey Trot.
Therefore, I decided to step up and be a man. Back in high school, I was very experienced and I knew that 37 degrees meant that just a long sleeve shirt and shorts are not enough to brave the elements of the weather. However, I forgot this over the past few years so for the first half of the run I was gritting my teeth from the cold and recieving strange glances from passers-by and the second half of the run my body went numb from the low temperature....but the strange glances didn't subside.
I went for another two mile run today. My plan is to run two miles everyday until I get a respectable time for that amount of mileage and then I will begin to up the miles only slightly to slowly get back into a routine.
Even when a runner is in the prime of his/her training there are still days where they feel like absolute shit. It is alot easier to have those days when you are in the prime then having those days when trying to get back into shape. It wasn't that I was sore from yesterday, it was that it was cold and wet and I didn't want to go. However I pushed through it, feeling like I was more sluggish then ever. However, when I clicked my watch coming back into my apartment, DiTraglia Hall, I saw 14:30. It's not a good time for someone who's in shape but it is three minutes better than yesterday when I felt much better. This leads back to the point that it doesn't matter how you feel, the time on the watch is all that matters.
I came back into my room welcomed by a $1.99 steak dinner cooked by my roomate. I took a look in the mirror, I didn't look that wet and wasn't really smiling. I head back to my personal room to take the watch of my wrist. It still feels uncomfortable wearing it, but with more time maybe it will feel normal.
However, a rainy day at college would just be another excuse to avoid running, which was almost the case today. Mondays and Thursdays will always be harder days to run because class ends at 4:00 on those days and by then either the day is getting dark or I am getting tired.
It seems discouraging that on the second day of this project I am already having a hard time getting out and running. I should not be too hard on myself. I'm sure that for the next few days or even weeks it is going to very hard to get out there. Also, it was raining today and the average person wouldn't go for a run in that type of weather. But I wasn't the average person in high school and I'm hoping to get back into that frame of mind by the Turkey Trot.
Therefore, I decided to step up and be a man. Back in high school, I was very experienced and I knew that 37 degrees meant that just a long sleeve shirt and shorts are not enough to brave the elements of the weather. However, I forgot this over the past few years so for the first half of the run I was gritting my teeth from the cold and recieving strange glances from passers-by and the second half of the run my body went numb from the low temperature....but the strange glances didn't subside.
I went for another two mile run today. My plan is to run two miles everyday until I get a respectable time for that amount of mileage and then I will begin to up the miles only slightly to slowly get back into a routine.
Even when a runner is in the prime of his/her training there are still days where they feel like absolute shit. It is alot easier to have those days when you are in the prime then having those days when trying to get back into shape. It wasn't that I was sore from yesterday, it was that it was cold and wet and I didn't want to go. However I pushed through it, feeling like I was more sluggish then ever. However, when I clicked my watch coming back into my apartment, DiTraglia Hall, I saw 14:30. It's not a good time for someone who's in shape but it is three minutes better than yesterday when I felt much better. This leads back to the point that it doesn't matter how you feel, the time on the watch is all that matters.
I came back into my room welcomed by a $1.99 steak dinner cooked by my roomate. I took a look in the mirror, I didn't look that wet and wasn't really smiling. I head back to my personal room to take the watch of my wrist. It still feels uncomfortable wearing it, but with more time maybe it will feel normal.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Bad Shorts
Every knows that there are times where they are their own worst enemy. They make excuses to convince themselves that it is okay to slack off in certian areas. I have always had this problem. However in high school the problem caused me to do eight miles instead of ten, in college it just flat out keeps me from running. I run into these obstacles often and today was no exception.
This morning I had to wake up early for an education practicum. This is where as an education major you have to sit and observe an actual high school classroom and the methods of an actual high school teacher, occasionaly you help out or you even teach a lesson. The problem with this is waking up at 6:30 after going to bed at 2:00 the night before. It causes you to become sluggish for the day not wanting to do anything nevermind run.
Between the practicum and the convenient placement of classes I also didn't have anything to eat today, which made me wonder why I wasn't so hungry during the run. Regardless, the number one excuse that has kept me from running is school work. I have two quizzes and a mid term in the next two days. Normally all of that would keep me from running but today was different.
I left my last class of the day at 2:30 with all of the above racking through my brain. "I should get a start on my homework." However, I was able to stop this excuse from getting the better of me, by knowing that I spend enough time becoming familiar with facebook and youtube that running wouldn't take a huge dent out of my academic schedule. When I get back to my apartment from class another thought creeps into my mind. "I haven't had anything to eat all day." This could prove detrimental to the run because running without food could obviously cause you to pass out. However, I was becoming more and more determined today, so I took a few of my roommates fig newtons and began to get ready for my run.
I knew I wasn't going to go for long, so I put on my bad shorts. Every runner has a pair. They are either ugly or uncomfortable or too long, regardless its a runner's least favorite pair of shorts and they normally save them for their shortest or worst run. I put on my bad shorts, which is a good indicator I wasn't expecting much from this two mile run.
With my ID card in my shoe, to get back in the room, I put on the contents of my new package and raced out of the comforts of my apartment. The autumn air was the first to greet me and did so with a rather cold reception. My underused wristwatch clicked, the seconds ticked, and I start running off the campus.
The next person to see me was a friend from high school, who was leaving class on his way back to his off-campus house. He was on a bike and stuck out his hand for a high five upon seeing me. I was known as the kid that always running back in high school. He was probably assuming that I never stopped running. I was comfortable with him not knowing about my hiatus because hopefully in the next few weeks I will be back.
The next person to see me was running in the opposite direction. He was an Orietnation Leader with me, which is where I met him. The same brief but friendly exchange was given and we were both on our way. In the brief moment of these two friends seeing me I began to feel welcomed back into the community that I once belonged to in high school....the runners. I began to surge ahead down the sidewalk, weaving in and out of grade schoolers just being dismissed from class. A little girl in her school jumper timidly awaited for her moment to be able to safely use the crosswalk, while I barreled by her braving the elements of oncoming traffic, like any common runner would. As I passed my favorite pizza place, Big Tony's. I began to crave what I have been eating so much of in the past few years. There would be plenty of time for that later, but for now I had a run to finish.
Just after Big Tony's, I took a turn down a suburban street. Providence College is in the middle of the city and can be surrounded by some pretty bad areas but only a few blocks away is North Providence, which is a beautiful suburban section of town. I was still riding on that runners high when entering this portion of town. It was a straight shot for a quarter of a mile on a completely still suburban street. As I ran down the middle, I began to have flashbacks of running through the beauitful neighborhoods of Fairfield, with my comrades who back then I called roommates. It began to feel good. It began to feel like I was back and ready for training once again. I was doing everything I did in high school. I was powering up hills and cresting over the top of them. I would cut the tangents of turns so that I could get the best possible time.
This feeling eventually subsided once campus was insight. I could never be sure if it was the lack of running or the lack of eating, but I began to get stomach stitches which are the bane of any runner's existance. Once you get those you can breath differently, you can try to run through them, but not matter what you do they are going to take you out. I began to run on the grass heading back towards my apartment building once again feeling pretty okay about the run in general. I clicked my watch and frowned at the sight of the time. Seventeen minutes is an atrocious time for 2 miles. I was going to be upset but I realized that I felt good out there and did what I could. It became very real to me that this was something that wasn't going to happen overnight, and that no matter how I feel, the time on the watch is what is really important.
I'm trying to be a runner again, and runners aren't supposed to feel good.
This morning I had to wake up early for an education practicum. This is where as an education major you have to sit and observe an actual high school classroom and the methods of an actual high school teacher, occasionaly you help out or you even teach a lesson. The problem with this is waking up at 6:30 after going to bed at 2:00 the night before. It causes you to become sluggish for the day not wanting to do anything nevermind run.
Between the practicum and the convenient placement of classes I also didn't have anything to eat today, which made me wonder why I wasn't so hungry during the run. Regardless, the number one excuse that has kept me from running is school work. I have two quizzes and a mid term in the next two days. Normally all of that would keep me from running but today was different.
I left my last class of the day at 2:30 with all of the above racking through my brain. "I should get a start on my homework." However, I was able to stop this excuse from getting the better of me, by knowing that I spend enough time becoming familiar with facebook and youtube that running wouldn't take a huge dent out of my academic schedule. When I get back to my apartment from class another thought creeps into my mind. "I haven't had anything to eat all day." This could prove detrimental to the run because running without food could obviously cause you to pass out. However, I was becoming more and more determined today, so I took a few of my roommates fig newtons and began to get ready for my run.
I knew I wasn't going to go for long, so I put on my bad shorts. Every runner has a pair. They are either ugly or uncomfortable or too long, regardless its a runner's least favorite pair of shorts and they normally save them for their shortest or worst run. I put on my bad shorts, which is a good indicator I wasn't expecting much from this two mile run.
With my ID card in my shoe, to get back in the room, I put on the contents of my new package and raced out of the comforts of my apartment. The autumn air was the first to greet me and did so with a rather cold reception. My underused wristwatch clicked, the seconds ticked, and I start running off the campus.
The next person to see me was a friend from high school, who was leaving class on his way back to his off-campus house. He was on a bike and stuck out his hand for a high five upon seeing me. I was known as the kid that always running back in high school. He was probably assuming that I never stopped running. I was comfortable with him not knowing about my hiatus because hopefully in the next few weeks I will be back.
The next person to see me was running in the opposite direction. He was an Orietnation Leader with me, which is where I met him. The same brief but friendly exchange was given and we were both on our way. In the brief moment of these two friends seeing me I began to feel welcomed back into the community that I once belonged to in high school....the runners. I began to surge ahead down the sidewalk, weaving in and out of grade schoolers just being dismissed from class. A little girl in her school jumper timidly awaited for her moment to be able to safely use the crosswalk, while I barreled by her braving the elements of oncoming traffic, like any common runner would. As I passed my favorite pizza place, Big Tony's. I began to crave what I have been eating so much of in the past few years. There would be plenty of time for that later, but for now I had a run to finish.
Just after Big Tony's, I took a turn down a suburban street. Providence College is in the middle of the city and can be surrounded by some pretty bad areas but only a few blocks away is North Providence, which is a beautiful suburban section of town. I was still riding on that runners high when entering this portion of town. It was a straight shot for a quarter of a mile on a completely still suburban street. As I ran down the middle, I began to have flashbacks of running through the beauitful neighborhoods of Fairfield, with my comrades who back then I called roommates. It began to feel good. It began to feel like I was back and ready for training once again. I was doing everything I did in high school. I was powering up hills and cresting over the top of them. I would cut the tangents of turns so that I could get the best possible time.
This feeling eventually subsided once campus was insight. I could never be sure if it was the lack of running or the lack of eating, but I began to get stomach stitches which are the bane of any runner's existance. Once you get those you can breath differently, you can try to run through them, but not matter what you do they are going to take you out. I began to run on the grass heading back towards my apartment building once again feeling pretty okay about the run in general. I clicked my watch and frowned at the sight of the time. Seventeen minutes is an atrocious time for 2 miles. I was going to be upset but I realized that I felt good out there and did what I could. It became very real to me that this was something that wasn't going to happen overnight, and that no matter how I feel, the time on the watch is what is really important.
I'm trying to be a runner again, and runners aren't supposed to feel good.
A New Package
I received the typical e-mail notification from the Providence College Mail Room saying that I had a package just delivered to my mail box. There was no description on what it was just the typical warning not to reply back to the e-mail. There was no description needed, however, because I was already aware of it's contents.
My dad texted me a few days ago saying that I left my running shoes at home over Columbus Day weekend. I didn't do this intentionally but I didn't care enough about them to be able to remember them. I used to...
For my four years of high school at Fairfield Prep, I was on the Cross Country, Indoor Track, and Outdoor Track teams. I was varsity of these teams for three of those years. I was captain of all three teams my senior year. I guess you could say that I ate slept and breathed running.
I was determined that although I wouldn't be part of a team that I would be able to keep up my running habits when I went to college. This promise proved difficult to keep. I quickly began to realize that running without requirement or motivation was harder than it seemed. My parents have both recently crossed the 50 year old mark and have become even more active in exercise, whether it be running, biking, or even kayaking. My dad, who was an even more successful and decorated runner in high school, has encouraged me to keep with it, but I can't exactly take that pestering with me and it doesn't quite have the same effect over the phone.
So here I am, my Junior year of college, leaving behind the one thing that I lived my whole life around in high school. I find this rather disturbing and I am sick of getting the e-mails from my former coach telling me of all of the successes that previous and current Fairfield Prep runners have been having in the endurance department.
Therefore, I have decided to make my own motivation. I will be writing a blog about my endeavors in running and attempt to run at least a few times a week going for the goal of running six times a week. I would hope that this would lead to an at least halfway decent showing at the Turkey Trot: a five mile road race on thanksgiving day where all the alumni get together and compete. It's meant to be for fun, but since when has a runner ran any sort of race for fun?
My dad texted me a few days ago saying that I left my running shoes at home over Columbus Day weekend. I didn't do this intentionally but I didn't care enough about them to be able to remember them. I used to...
For my four years of high school at Fairfield Prep, I was on the Cross Country, Indoor Track, and Outdoor Track teams. I was varsity of these teams for three of those years. I was captain of all three teams my senior year. I guess you could say that I ate slept and breathed running.
I was determined that although I wouldn't be part of a team that I would be able to keep up my running habits when I went to college. This promise proved difficult to keep. I quickly began to realize that running without requirement or motivation was harder than it seemed. My parents have both recently crossed the 50 year old mark and have become even more active in exercise, whether it be running, biking, or even kayaking. My dad, who was an even more successful and decorated runner in high school, has encouraged me to keep with it, but I can't exactly take that pestering with me and it doesn't quite have the same effect over the phone.
So here I am, my Junior year of college, leaving behind the one thing that I lived my whole life around in high school. I find this rather disturbing and I am sick of getting the e-mails from my former coach telling me of all of the successes that previous and current Fairfield Prep runners have been having in the endurance department.
Therefore, I have decided to make my own motivation. I will be writing a blog about my endeavors in running and attempt to run at least a few times a week going for the goal of running six times a week. I would hope that this would lead to an at least halfway decent showing at the Turkey Trot: a five mile road race on thanksgiving day where all the alumni get together and compete. It's meant to be for fun, but since when has a runner ran any sort of race for fun?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)