There's always the expression that it never get's any easier. After my experience today I have to say that it sometimes does get easier. I ran once last week, waking up early in hopes of refurbishing my old talent after a summer of idle movement and the passing recovery of a recent minor surgery. This didn't seem to work out however, I was barely able to move faster than the pace of a pregnant cow and half way through I had to use the facilities in the most intense way possible (A rear exit).
Therefore, when I laced up the shoes today, I was expecting a similiar outcome, so I made the point that today, I was going to do just to a quick run to make the attempts at getting back into the swing of things. So is the original score from the movie Rudy in my head I set out on my run. But this time, something wonderous happened, I felt amazing. Each stride I took along the pavement was stronger than the next and I was beginning to feel as if I was running on air.
I checked my pulse to make sure I wasn't dead and continued running to this glorious feeling. I then reached the road I was going to turn down to make this a shorter run. There was no thought in the matter, I kept going straight. Running in the city leaves you several opportunities to cut the run short, thanks to its square grid structure, but not one of these roads seemed appealing to me. This feeling was too great to leave to a shorter run. I then joined in with a route I used to take as an in shape freshman just starting my college career, and now as a lowly senior entering the real world, it's good to know that there are still going to be days that will be good, for no particular reason at all. I stopped running at my off-campus house, and went inside, optimistic about the next few moments of my life.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Once Again the Beginning
It's been a while. I don't think there is anyone following this blog but needlessly to say if there is anyone out there, It's pretty obvious to you guys that I didn't finish my goal. I ran the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving, but that last time I ran since that was the last post that I wrote. Needless to say, I didn't feel so well. Those five miles were quite the torture for me. It was one of those races where I started out strong for the first mile or so and spent the rest of the race watching people go around me. It wasn't much of a boost for my confidence. There was a point at around the third mile where I heard a group of commotion from behind me. There was a group of runners causing quite a ruckus, and I knew exactly who it was. Unlike when I was on the team, the current Fairfield Prep Cross Country Team, had a race that weekend. Therefore, pushing hard during a five mile road race a few days before wouldn't be the best strategy, so they ran it as if it were a training run. Therefore, they didn't run it fast, and like the team did when we ran training runs, they were goofing around, so when I saw a bunch of young teenagers screaming yelling and chanting "USA!" I knew exactly what team was going to pass me.
I wasn't emberassed that they were passing me. I was out of shape and they were in shape. There was such a difference between me and the group that there was no surprise that there training pace was slightly faster than my race pace. I was, however, beginning to grow sad becuase I was looking at what I used to be, not just in shape, but having fun with a team. Being a part of something that I haven't even kept in touch with that well. It was upsetting to me that almost everything that my high school was, has been nothing but a memory. It was as if I was looking at a huge part of me, that was no longer with me. It was not the way I wanted things to be, but I was grown up now, so I had to keep on moving, through life and through the race.
That has all been in the past now. Not much has happened since then, in regards to running. Classes have come and gone, lovers came and went, and friends are still standing strong. I don't know if there is any way that I will be able to develop a regular running schedule at school. I can't seem to have the time or sometimes is the motivation. I don't know what made me go out there and run today. I dont really have the time. I am currently working two jobs and studying for my Praxis exams, so I can use the excuse that I don't have time, but for some reason today after quite a few months of a complete lack of motion, I was putting on my running shorts and doing a few sit ups before a mile run. It wasn't much of a distance but boy did it knock me on my ass. I came back in less then ten minutes soaked in sweat. This is only the beginning. It is once again the beginning
I wasn't emberassed that they were passing me. I was out of shape and they were in shape. There was such a difference between me and the group that there was no surprise that there training pace was slightly faster than my race pace. I was, however, beginning to grow sad becuase I was looking at what I used to be, not just in shape, but having fun with a team. Being a part of something that I haven't even kept in touch with that well. It was upsetting to me that almost everything that my high school was, has been nothing but a memory. It was as if I was looking at a huge part of me, that was no longer with me. It was not the way I wanted things to be, but I was grown up now, so I had to keep on moving, through life and through the race.
That has all been in the past now. Not much has happened since then, in regards to running. Classes have come and gone, lovers came and went, and friends are still standing strong. I don't know if there is any way that I will be able to develop a regular running schedule at school. I can't seem to have the time or sometimes is the motivation. I don't know what made me go out there and run today. I dont really have the time. I am currently working two jobs and studying for my Praxis exams, so I can use the excuse that I don't have time, but for some reason today after quite a few months of a complete lack of motion, I was putting on my running shorts and doing a few sit ups before a mile run. It wasn't much of a distance but boy did it knock me on my ass. I came back in less then ten minutes soaked in sweat. This is only the beginning. It is once again the beginning
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Strain of a Smile
Between a math quiz wednesday, a math test thursday, and another math test on friday. I still managed to find time to run on one day last week. I guess I could call last week a hiccup, and for good reason. The work was piling up pretty thoroughly and I just did not have the time or daylight to even think about starting a run. The only time I was able to run was on Thursday morning and I can't even take credit for that one time.
It was on wednesday night when I got a text from one of my good friends up at PC, Tim Fleming. It was simple and concise, "Run tomorrow morning at 7?" It was without hesitation that I said yes. Whether it be the fact that I was already going to be awake for my 8:30 class, or that I needed the solace of a good run after all of these math equations, I found myself lacing up my shoes for early that morning.
The chill of an early morning, struck me as much indoors as it did outdoors. The heat must not have been working, or they don't bother turning it on that early in the morning. A good motivation for students to wake up and go to class. I joined my friend outside of Di Trag and we began to run through the grassy lands now speckled with dry leaves.
He began by pushing a little hard and I decided to match him slightly. We were talking for most of the way. It was a casual conversation run, which was all I really needed. It was after the North Providence Hill where Tim began to grow slower. "Just go on without me, I'll be fine." He obviously wouldn't. He had no idea where the route went. Plus, I was here to just relax...not to go for a difficult run. I didn't even bring my watch. I kept a reasonable pace, a few steps in front of Tim. It was while this was happening when he said, "I don't know how you do it." This comment struck me. I didn't feel anything. I was completely relaxed and at peace. This was the first time in a while that I was with someone that was hurting when I wasn't. With the exception of a better than average time on my watch, this is the best pick up that I have received in quite some time. For days after, Tim would caution friends not to run with me, because I would go to fast and push to hard. This was something that was good to hear. Tim may not have realized it, but telling people not to run with me, was the finest gesture of friendship that I could have ever gotten at this time.
It hasn't all been a pair of new running shoes since the last post. I can attribute my lack of running during the week to the amount of work that I had but this weekend was entirely different beast. The mood I was in this weekend constantly floats in and out of me, like that of a possessed spirit. I get this crippling feeling that at times I don't belong, at all. If I haven't mentioned yet, I am a part of the schools Board of Programmers (BOP), that is a group in charge of putting on events on campus. That helps me feel like I am a part of something, not to mention that the entire group is an extremely strong family that I love more than anything. However, even that sometimes can't shake this feeling that no matter where I put my feet, I don't seem to fit. On friday, I went to what the school called Pumpkin Fest. I went there because BOP was helping out with some of the portions of the event. However, all I received was lackadaisical greetings that transferred into nothing more than me standing alone in the field, while others did so well with each other. Groups of attractive and funny teens on the top of the world just enjoying and loving each others company. Is this the fault of my peers and the others? Absolutely not. I put myself in charge of every social problem that I seem to fall down into. I could be more friendly or I could try to be more outgoing. Perhaps what happened at Pumpkin fest wasn't even a big deal and was just me reading into small actions from people that weren't even that socially taxing. Regardless of how the situation unfolded and how I tried to logically try to analyze it, I still feel the same. I am emotionally unresponsive and I only sink deeper into this symbolic paralysis, giving myself a low amount of interaction and my ability to make the same mistakes with the same girls, just to be able to feel better about myself. There were plenty of times I could have run this weekend, and even more times when I truly needed it. But I just couldn't think of going out there. I just didn't have the positivity that it takes to put those shoes on.
I found myself in higher spirits this morning when I tied the shoes and began to head out the door. I didn't think that I was going to run this morning. I felt I had too many people to call, for BOP, and classes, work and meetings, would dominate most of my time. I was heading out the door at about 11:00 reciting all of the work that I had to do. I stopped myself from walking out the door, saying to myself. "I have plenty of time for a run." I turned around, ran up the stairs, busted through the door and through on my running stuff, ready to try to forget about everything that was going on just once more.
I began to trek down the sidewalk. Leaves were falling amongst me in a slow melodic form. It was a scene that so many films would unsuccessfully duplicate with CGI. It was pure realistic beauty...and it was something that drove me to run even faster. However, as I have learned before, the attitude one possesses isn't everything in a run. My legs were feeling heavy and stitches began to surface. I had to stop at the top of the hill. I had to stop when I reached the woods. I had to the stop after crossing the street. I was greeted by a large amount of stitches. But something came over me, I was hurting physically, but for the entire run I was nowhere near in a bad mood. I was feeling tired but I just couldn't give two shits about everything else that I felt was wrong in my life. I made myself finish up the run. I forgot to turn on my watch after one of the many times I stopped and it didn't matter to me, because I did the run. Something I couldn't say about myself last week, or several other times in the past three years.
It was later that day, when I was in the BOP office where a fellow BOP member, Shioban, got my attention. "Sean. I saw you today running, and I have to say that I have never seen anyone look so happy on run then you were looking. You had the biggest smile on your face." This comment, like Tim's caught me off guard. Mainly, because I didn't even realize that I was smiling. I feel that life is going to offer me several challenges until that one day that my number is up, whether they be stitches or loneliness, I just need to smile and bear it, because eventually things are going to get better.
It was on wednesday night when I got a text from one of my good friends up at PC, Tim Fleming. It was simple and concise, "Run tomorrow morning at 7?" It was without hesitation that I said yes. Whether it be the fact that I was already going to be awake for my 8:30 class, or that I needed the solace of a good run after all of these math equations, I found myself lacing up my shoes for early that morning.
The chill of an early morning, struck me as much indoors as it did outdoors. The heat must not have been working, or they don't bother turning it on that early in the morning. A good motivation for students to wake up and go to class. I joined my friend outside of Di Trag and we began to run through the grassy lands now speckled with dry leaves.
He began by pushing a little hard and I decided to match him slightly. We were talking for most of the way. It was a casual conversation run, which was all I really needed. It was after the North Providence Hill where Tim began to grow slower. "Just go on without me, I'll be fine." He obviously wouldn't. He had no idea where the route went. Plus, I was here to just relax...not to go for a difficult run. I didn't even bring my watch. I kept a reasonable pace, a few steps in front of Tim. It was while this was happening when he said, "I don't know how you do it." This comment struck me. I didn't feel anything. I was completely relaxed and at peace. This was the first time in a while that I was with someone that was hurting when I wasn't. With the exception of a better than average time on my watch, this is the best pick up that I have received in quite some time. For days after, Tim would caution friends not to run with me, because I would go to fast and push to hard. This was something that was good to hear. Tim may not have realized it, but telling people not to run with me, was the finest gesture of friendship that I could have ever gotten at this time.
It hasn't all been a pair of new running shoes since the last post. I can attribute my lack of running during the week to the amount of work that I had but this weekend was entirely different beast. The mood I was in this weekend constantly floats in and out of me, like that of a possessed spirit. I get this crippling feeling that at times I don't belong, at all. If I haven't mentioned yet, I am a part of the schools Board of Programmers (BOP), that is a group in charge of putting on events on campus. That helps me feel like I am a part of something, not to mention that the entire group is an extremely strong family that I love more than anything. However, even that sometimes can't shake this feeling that no matter where I put my feet, I don't seem to fit. On friday, I went to what the school called Pumpkin Fest. I went there because BOP was helping out with some of the portions of the event. However, all I received was lackadaisical greetings that transferred into nothing more than me standing alone in the field, while others did so well with each other. Groups of attractive and funny teens on the top of the world just enjoying and loving each others company. Is this the fault of my peers and the others? Absolutely not. I put myself in charge of every social problem that I seem to fall down into. I could be more friendly or I could try to be more outgoing. Perhaps what happened at Pumpkin fest wasn't even a big deal and was just me reading into small actions from people that weren't even that socially taxing. Regardless of how the situation unfolded and how I tried to logically try to analyze it, I still feel the same. I am emotionally unresponsive and I only sink deeper into this symbolic paralysis, giving myself a low amount of interaction and my ability to make the same mistakes with the same girls, just to be able to feel better about myself. There were plenty of times I could have run this weekend, and even more times when I truly needed it. But I just couldn't think of going out there. I just didn't have the positivity that it takes to put those shoes on.
I found myself in higher spirits this morning when I tied the shoes and began to head out the door. I didn't think that I was going to run this morning. I felt I had too many people to call, for BOP, and classes, work and meetings, would dominate most of my time. I was heading out the door at about 11:00 reciting all of the work that I had to do. I stopped myself from walking out the door, saying to myself. "I have plenty of time for a run." I turned around, ran up the stairs, busted through the door and through on my running stuff, ready to try to forget about everything that was going on just once more.
I began to trek down the sidewalk. Leaves were falling amongst me in a slow melodic form. It was a scene that so many films would unsuccessfully duplicate with CGI. It was pure realistic beauty...and it was something that drove me to run even faster. However, as I have learned before, the attitude one possesses isn't everything in a run. My legs were feeling heavy and stitches began to surface. I had to stop at the top of the hill. I had to stop when I reached the woods. I had to the stop after crossing the street. I was greeted by a large amount of stitches. But something came over me, I was hurting physically, but for the entire run I was nowhere near in a bad mood. I was feeling tired but I just couldn't give two shits about everything else that I felt was wrong in my life. I made myself finish up the run. I forgot to turn on my watch after one of the many times I stopped and it didn't matter to me, because I did the run. Something I couldn't say about myself last week, or several other times in the past three years.
It was later that day, when I was in the BOP office where a fellow BOP member, Shioban, got my attention. "Sean. I saw you today running, and I have to say that I have never seen anyone look so happy on run then you were looking. You had the biggest smile on your face." This comment, like Tim's caught me off guard. Mainly, because I didn't even realize that I was smiling. I feel that life is going to offer me several challenges until that one day that my number is up, whether they be stitches or loneliness, I just need to smile and bear it, because eventually things are going to get better.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Mind Under Matter
I didn't run that past two days but I haven't been fretting about this particular issue. I really did have classes or appointments the entire day so I really had no other choice but to skip my runs. These were also unusual appointments that normally don't factor into my typical weekly schedule, therefore I will still be able to go for runs on the upcoming weeks on these particular days.
I have also haven't been displeased with my dedication in the past two days because I've been noticing differences in myself. I have been realizing that I have been feeling the same way that I sometimes did in high school. A freshman, I met when I was an orienation leader this year, was able to confide in me about some of the problems she has been having thus far in school. This wasn't what was different about myself but she did say something that stuck with me. "How come I never see you in a bad mood?" I addressed this question with an inner chuckle because I am often in a bad or depressing mood, sometimes from nothing but the typical grind of the day. Therefore, you can understand my confusion from this question. However, I looked back on the past week since I started all of this and realized that I have not been bummed out or depressed at all. I haven't even had any stress or feelings of insecurity. It could be determined then that the running has has a profound affect on my outlook on life in the past few weeks.
Another change in me is that I have been extremely hungry. I would eat dinner and then hours later be hungry once again only to be hungry again just before I go to bed. I have been wondering why this has been going on and remembered that running boosts your appetite, which happened often in high school.
With these changes, I was confident that I was getting back into the swing of things. So you could imagine my excitement to start running again, after my classes today. It was easy to get started. No excuses arose. No obstacles presented themselves to me. There wasn't a shadow of doubt that could douse my sunny mood and I was ready to tackle 3 miles. Sometimes, however, the mind isn't the only ingredient of a good run.
As I took off down the road, I found it increasingly hard to keep at a decent pace. My legs felt like sand bags. I felt as if it was the first time I was running. My legs couldnt keep up with my motivation and therefore my motivation began to be dragged down into the bowels of running hell. Just after passing Big Tony's, I turned down the street to make the run a two mile run. I did it without even thinking. This only proves that I was feeling worse then having to run through a driving rain storm.
I decided to run in the middle of the empty street, hoping that this type of image would motivate me further. It did not. I passed a man walking on the sidewalk, obviously too fatigued to move on. I normally would think, "What a slacker!" But today I looked at him and thought, "Man, I wish I was doing what he was doing." I would obey this desire at the next turn.
I never like to stop, but between stictches poking at every inch of my torso and being barely able to lift my legs. I stopped at the corner to catch my breath. I was so dissapointed. I looked down the street at the line of golden trees shedding their leaves as they dance toward the ground, where they lay idle. I turned into what slackers envy and what runners call slackers. As I was looking down the street I noticed the walker, once again running and doing so towards me. Out of shame, I continued to run along my route.
The same pace and same attitude was draped across the rest of the run. When I stepped onto campus, I gritted my pants as I looked at my watch. It was at 15 minutes and with this something dawned on me. However, horrible I felt, I could still beat my time from my first run only a week ago. This would be a victory in several ways and I decided not to let up. Regardless of my dragging legs, broken spirit, and ugly stomach stitches, I felt myself flying across campus until I reached the front of my apartment at 16:40. This is a terrible time for 2 miles but it's better than when I felt great on the same run a week ago. I need to keep reminding myself that I won't become an all star over night....but I'm going to need to over a month.
I have also haven't been displeased with my dedication in the past two days because I've been noticing differences in myself. I have been realizing that I have been feeling the same way that I sometimes did in high school. A freshman, I met when I was an orienation leader this year, was able to confide in me about some of the problems she has been having thus far in school. This wasn't what was different about myself but she did say something that stuck with me. "How come I never see you in a bad mood?" I addressed this question with an inner chuckle because I am often in a bad or depressing mood, sometimes from nothing but the typical grind of the day. Therefore, you can understand my confusion from this question. However, I looked back on the past week since I started all of this and realized that I have not been bummed out or depressed at all. I haven't even had any stress or feelings of insecurity. It could be determined then that the running has has a profound affect on my outlook on life in the past few weeks.
Another change in me is that I have been extremely hungry. I would eat dinner and then hours later be hungry once again only to be hungry again just before I go to bed. I have been wondering why this has been going on and remembered that running boosts your appetite, which happened often in high school.
With these changes, I was confident that I was getting back into the swing of things. So you could imagine my excitement to start running again, after my classes today. It was easy to get started. No excuses arose. No obstacles presented themselves to me. There wasn't a shadow of doubt that could douse my sunny mood and I was ready to tackle 3 miles. Sometimes, however, the mind isn't the only ingredient of a good run.
As I took off down the road, I found it increasingly hard to keep at a decent pace. My legs felt like sand bags. I felt as if it was the first time I was running. My legs couldnt keep up with my motivation and therefore my motivation began to be dragged down into the bowels of running hell. Just after passing Big Tony's, I turned down the street to make the run a two mile run. I did it without even thinking. This only proves that I was feeling worse then having to run through a driving rain storm.
I decided to run in the middle of the empty street, hoping that this type of image would motivate me further. It did not. I passed a man walking on the sidewalk, obviously too fatigued to move on. I normally would think, "What a slacker!" But today I looked at him and thought, "Man, I wish I was doing what he was doing." I would obey this desire at the next turn.
I never like to stop, but between stictches poking at every inch of my torso and being barely able to lift my legs. I stopped at the corner to catch my breath. I was so dissapointed. I looked down the street at the line of golden trees shedding their leaves as they dance toward the ground, where they lay idle. I turned into what slackers envy and what runners call slackers. As I was looking down the street I noticed the walker, once again running and doing so towards me. Out of shame, I continued to run along my route.
The same pace and same attitude was draped across the rest of the run. When I stepped onto campus, I gritted my pants as I looked at my watch. It was at 15 minutes and with this something dawned on me. However, horrible I felt, I could still beat my time from my first run only a week ago. This would be a victory in several ways and I decided not to let up. Regardless of my dragging legs, broken spirit, and ugly stomach stitches, I felt myself flying across campus until I reached the front of my apartment at 16:40. This is a terrible time for 2 miles but it's better than when I felt great on the same run a week ago. I need to keep reminding myself that I won't become an all star over night....but I'm going to need to over a month.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Staying Fresh
I was always hoping that eventually it would be more difficult for me to update my blog then for me to actually go for the runs which I blog about. That time has arrived much quicker than I anticipated. I did not expect to be running today. Monday's are not a good day for me. My classes end at 4 and by 6 I need to be at a weekly movie screen for my film analysis class. I was spending the entire day thinking that this would finally be the day that my running schedule would be interrupted by a legitimate excuse. However, it's comforting to know that now even logic is not stopping me from my run. I did decrease the distance of this run to be able to fit in the time. The purpose of this run would be to keep myself fresh. Pretty much a day of running just for the sake of running. But things changed through the run.
Before my run, I experienced another pain that frequents a runner that I have forgotten about. This pain is a more of a physical pain than any other. Pardon me if I get to graphic, but this pain is nipple chaffage. It seems the day before, when running in a wet cotton shirt, I scarred the tip of my nipple severely. I answered this cry of pain by putting on one of sophisticated Dri-Fit running shirts, something I never though I would have to do again. I guess I will be experiencing these little pieces of nostalgia, however painful or glorious, for weeks to come now.
I began running on River Avenue, the same street that I had my rainy revelation on the day before. This time it was much better weather and much better spirits. I began the run at very decent pace. Enough to seem a little bit uncomfortable, which is a very admirable level to run at, especially when that run is only two miles. This was time that a light amount of fear began to strike me. The cough that was present for moments after my run yesterday but then gone for the remainder of the night, resurfaced. I began to regret running in the cold rain the day before but I remembered something that my high school cross country coach said to me, "You can't catch a cold just by being cold. That is only a myth. You catch it from getting a virus." It could be argued that our coach just wanted us to avoid us making excuses. However, Coach Ford was a very practical man. I couldn't see him risking the health of runners just for one practice. Therefore, I stuck by his philosophy, cleared my throat, and kept on moving.
I never saw the cough again on that run. As I took the turn past a Shell gas station, I looked at my watch and saw a very low number. I won't say what it was because it would be irrelevant considering the fact that I had no knowledge of the location of the mile markers, but it was lower than it usually was. Therefore, I powered through the downhill street and took a left at the bars that I frequent on several weekends a year. I didn't look at the watch for the rest of the run, there was no need to, I had no idea how far I was running. I only knew that the end of it was 2 miles so that's what I kept going for.
I took a turn onto Eaton street, which is across from the School and where there is a large amount of off-campus housing. Even though this portion of the run is uphill, I like to go extremely fast just to show off to some friends that might know me. Although it is admirable to be humble, you have to be a little bit arrogant to be successful at running. Sometimes, its the only motivation that one can achieve, when you got nothing else but weak legs and a stomach stitch. You just have to make sure this arrogance is brought on subtly and doesn't make you seem like an asshole.
After Eaton, I continued to power over the crest of the hill. I could see Di Trag in my sight which tempted me to look at my watch, I was filled with joy to find 13 minutes there, but also it drove me to worry as my goal now changed desperately to achieve a 2 mile run within 14 minutes. As I crawled up the stone stairs and arrived on campus, I click my watch to see 13:55. This is not an amazing time for 2 miles, but it's one of the best times I have seen for that distance in a while, and that's a lofty accomplishment in any runner's book.
Before my run, I experienced another pain that frequents a runner that I have forgotten about. This pain is a more of a physical pain than any other. Pardon me if I get to graphic, but this pain is nipple chaffage. It seems the day before, when running in a wet cotton shirt, I scarred the tip of my nipple severely. I answered this cry of pain by putting on one of sophisticated Dri-Fit running shirts, something I never though I would have to do again. I guess I will be experiencing these little pieces of nostalgia, however painful or glorious, for weeks to come now.
I began running on River Avenue, the same street that I had my rainy revelation on the day before. This time it was much better weather and much better spirits. I began the run at very decent pace. Enough to seem a little bit uncomfortable, which is a very admirable level to run at, especially when that run is only two miles. This was time that a light amount of fear began to strike me. The cough that was present for moments after my run yesterday but then gone for the remainder of the night, resurfaced. I began to regret running in the cold rain the day before but I remembered something that my high school cross country coach said to me, "You can't catch a cold just by being cold. That is only a myth. You catch it from getting a virus." It could be argued that our coach just wanted us to avoid us making excuses. However, Coach Ford was a very practical man. I couldn't see him risking the health of runners just for one practice. Therefore, I stuck by his philosophy, cleared my throat, and kept on moving.
I never saw the cough again on that run. As I took the turn past a Shell gas station, I looked at my watch and saw a very low number. I won't say what it was because it would be irrelevant considering the fact that I had no knowledge of the location of the mile markers, but it was lower than it usually was. Therefore, I powered through the downhill street and took a left at the bars that I frequent on several weekends a year. I didn't look at the watch for the rest of the run, there was no need to, I had no idea how far I was running. I only knew that the end of it was 2 miles so that's what I kept going for.
I took a turn onto Eaton street, which is across from the School and where there is a large amount of off-campus housing. Even though this portion of the run is uphill, I like to go extremely fast just to show off to some friends that might know me. Although it is admirable to be humble, you have to be a little bit arrogant to be successful at running. Sometimes, its the only motivation that one can achieve, when you got nothing else but weak legs and a stomach stitch. You just have to make sure this arrogance is brought on subtly and doesn't make you seem like an asshole.
After Eaton, I continued to power over the crest of the hill. I could see Di Trag in my sight which tempted me to look at my watch, I was filled with joy to find 13 minutes there, but also it drove me to worry as my goal now changed desperately to achieve a 2 mile run within 14 minutes. As I crawled up the stone stairs and arrived on campus, I click my watch to see 13:55. This is not an amazing time for 2 miles, but it's one of the best times I have seen for that distance in a while, and that's a lofty accomplishment in any runner's book.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, Wet Sunday
The past two days were a bit of a slip on my part. Friday I didn't run because of the weak excuse of not having my computer and yesterday because of the even weaker excuse of just being too lazy and having a little too much fun the night before. I guess this pattern is expected of someone trying to get back into shape after two years but I'm not taking behavior like this lightly. So therefore, this morning when I awoke to driving rain outside my window, I decided to give myself a punishment, by slapping on my running shoes.
My roommates were stunned to see me in my running gear. "B-but it's raining...", my direct roommate, Alex, said. I just smiled gave them a shrug and said, "You gotta do what ya gotta do." I haven't told them about the blog yet. I haven't really told many people. I don't quite feel comfortable shoving it in people's faces quite yet because there is still room for error, but maybe in a week or two, I'll begin to go public.
I decided to upgrade myself to three mile today because of both punishment and my good time on Thursday. At the bottom floor of Di Trag, before leaving to brave the wet weather, I noticed I didn't have my watch on. I knew that I was going to be forgetting it one of these days. I turned to go back inside but I weighed my option: It was raining and I was running three miles for the first time in quite a while. I decided that a watch was going to be completely pointless on this run. I was going to be very right.
The cold water coming from the sky was matched only by a very cold and strong wind that came in and stung me with every blow. My rationale was that eventually I would warm because I would be on the run. I was not correct in this prediction. The run didn't start out terrible I went by Big Tony's and then by street one would turn on for the two mile route. I refused to even look towards it, at the risk of temptation.
When I hit the only hill on the route, the weather became hell. I did what I could to power through it but I felt almost helpless in the chilling arms of mother nature. I was spouting more expletives than a crime movie set in south Boston. At the top of hill, the route takes me into a park where I take a break from concrete and start running through the trails. Leaves and branches, covered in droplets of water, were overgrown on the trail since the times that I rarely ran this route from freshman year. You could guess then, that I got more wet then if I stayed on the street, but at this point everything was heavy and weighing me down anyway.
Normally the toughest part of the run is the end, this run was no exception. When I emerged from the trails, I took a turn on the street and the wind was even stronger, blowing my cold wet shirt right up against my shivering chest. This run was a rough one, that is until I took a right onto the street that PC is on. This busy suburban street caused me to think for a moment. I wasn't thinking rationally but that this point, through all the pain from the wind, rain, and cold temperature, I began to feel like what I just went through made me so much stronger. I sped down that final street. I trounced across the wet and muddy lawn of the campus, powered onto the parking lot behind the library and flew amongst the apple trees behind the campus chapel. This run wasn't fantastic, and I felt like absolute shit and I rung out my clothes, but it was a necessary step.
While in my room, I began to bellow several deep coughs. I took an air borne, a mucinex, and a few puffs from my inhaler from childhood. Hopefully, this little final paragraph won't be a foreshadowing to any sort of sickness.
My roommates were stunned to see me in my running gear. "B-but it's raining...", my direct roommate, Alex, said. I just smiled gave them a shrug and said, "You gotta do what ya gotta do." I haven't told them about the blog yet. I haven't really told many people. I don't quite feel comfortable shoving it in people's faces quite yet because there is still room for error, but maybe in a week or two, I'll begin to go public.
I decided to upgrade myself to three mile today because of both punishment and my good time on Thursday. At the bottom floor of Di Trag, before leaving to brave the wet weather, I noticed I didn't have my watch on. I knew that I was going to be forgetting it one of these days. I turned to go back inside but I weighed my option: It was raining and I was running three miles for the first time in quite a while. I decided that a watch was going to be completely pointless on this run. I was going to be very right.
The cold water coming from the sky was matched only by a very cold and strong wind that came in and stung me with every blow. My rationale was that eventually I would warm because I would be on the run. I was not correct in this prediction. The run didn't start out terrible I went by Big Tony's and then by street one would turn on for the two mile route. I refused to even look towards it, at the risk of temptation.
When I hit the only hill on the route, the weather became hell. I did what I could to power through it but I felt almost helpless in the chilling arms of mother nature. I was spouting more expletives than a crime movie set in south Boston. At the top of hill, the route takes me into a park where I take a break from concrete and start running through the trails. Leaves and branches, covered in droplets of water, were overgrown on the trail since the times that I rarely ran this route from freshman year. You could guess then, that I got more wet then if I stayed on the street, but at this point everything was heavy and weighing me down anyway.
Normally the toughest part of the run is the end, this run was no exception. When I emerged from the trails, I took a turn on the street and the wind was even stronger, blowing my cold wet shirt right up against my shivering chest. This run was a rough one, that is until I took a right onto the street that PC is on. This busy suburban street caused me to think for a moment. I wasn't thinking rationally but that this point, through all the pain from the wind, rain, and cold temperature, I began to feel like what I just went through made me so much stronger. I sped down that final street. I trounced across the wet and muddy lawn of the campus, powered onto the parking lot behind the library and flew amongst the apple trees behind the campus chapel. This run wasn't fantastic, and I felt like absolute shit and I rung out my clothes, but it was a necessary step.
While in my room, I began to bellow several deep coughs. I took an air borne, a mucinex, and a few puffs from my inhaler from childhood. Hopefully, this little final paragraph won't be a foreshadowing to any sort of sickness.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Already Slipping....
I can't quite call this a failure just yet. I refuse to. If every time I missed a day of running it would be called a failure then I wouldn't be able to live with myself.I suppose I can call this a failure when I stop writing, and who knows when or if that day is going to come.
Fatigue should belong in the same family as death or taxes. It is inevitable. You can try to outrun it but it's eventually going to catch up with you and you will be powerless to stop it.
My Friday afternoons are my moments of complete rest. It was a tradition that I would put on a movie, lie in bed, and never see the end of the movie due to my slipping into a deep slumber. I am going to try to avoid this tradition in the near future for the sake of this project but today I realized my true motivation.
In the morning I always turn on my computer before class so that I could see the temperature and dress accordingly. This morning my computer wouldn't turn on. I stewed in my own frustration for a moment, guessed the temperature from looking outside, and brought my computer to the shop after class. They said to leave it there and they would call me when they were finished with it. I have had my fair share of experiences with computer shops and it normally takes quite a few days for the computer to come back. Therefore, when I came back to my apartment, I was about to go on a run when I realized there was no way I could write about it, so what was the point?
I then fell into bed and caught up on some much needed sleep. The whirring of a vibrating phone awakened me an hour later, "Sean, this is CompUtopia, we have your computer ready." It took only one day. I began to walk over and while I was jubilant to receive my computer again after such a short time, I began to grow worried. The reason I didn't run was because of the blog, therefore the only motivation I have in running right now is this blog. On the other hand, I do need something to help me with starting to train again. Then maybe I won't need the blog anymore and can just run without my computer...but for now I'm still needing this.
Fatigue should belong in the same family as death or taxes. It is inevitable. You can try to outrun it but it's eventually going to catch up with you and you will be powerless to stop it.
My Friday afternoons are my moments of complete rest. It was a tradition that I would put on a movie, lie in bed, and never see the end of the movie due to my slipping into a deep slumber. I am going to try to avoid this tradition in the near future for the sake of this project but today I realized my true motivation.
In the morning I always turn on my computer before class so that I could see the temperature and dress accordingly. This morning my computer wouldn't turn on. I stewed in my own frustration for a moment, guessed the temperature from looking outside, and brought my computer to the shop after class. They said to leave it there and they would call me when they were finished with it. I have had my fair share of experiences with computer shops and it normally takes quite a few days for the computer to come back. Therefore, when I came back to my apartment, I was about to go on a run when I realized there was no way I could write about it, so what was the point?
I then fell into bed and caught up on some much needed sleep. The whirring of a vibrating phone awakened me an hour later, "Sean, this is CompUtopia, we have your computer ready." It took only one day. I began to walk over and while I was jubilant to receive my computer again after such a short time, I began to grow worried. The reason I didn't run was because of the blog, therefore the only motivation I have in running right now is this blog. On the other hand, I do need something to help me with starting to train again. Then maybe I won't need the blog anymore and can just run without my computer...but for now I'm still needing this.
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